Sarah's Transition Diary .. weeks 385 - 388


.... is for those who might want to contact me about my diary.

Day 2689 - Week 385 - Thursday 19th April 2012.

Day 2689. Thursday 19th April 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

06.10 .. The alarm ..

08.15 .. The chap finally arrives to collect RED and take her off to be repaired ..

Some good news on the answer phone at home John Lewis are going to supply the TV my research uncovered .. they didn’t say it would cost me any more .. should be in stock early next week.

16.05 .. I put the new sound processor to air as an experiment .. DJ Charlene says she can’t work with the slight delay in her headphones .. “it’s an echo” she says .. so she agrees to monitor of desk while some of us listen to what’s going out .. it sounds a lot better ..

16.55 .. We end the experiment .. but agree to go with my original plan tomorrow ..

17.48 .. I head for home ..

More to come ...

Day 2690. Friday 20th April 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

06.10 .. The alarm ..

10.30 .. I put the new sound processor to air ..
18.15 .. I finally leave the office ..

19.45 .. I order the Chinese ..

More to come ...

Day 2691. Saturday 21st April 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

08.22 .. Up and at it .. well I need the loo ..

It’s the Saturday morning weigh in .. 14st 11lb .. coming down post France .. I head back to bed.   
08.45 .. Karen appears with a cup of tea ..

09.25 .. Up and at it ..

10.45 .. I’m in the shower ..

13.30 .. Samsung Galaxy S2 phone asked to do a system update this afternoon .. not so very clever, 273mb download failed twice first .. now Android 4.0.3 .. However it's hunt the app .. Some have disappeared completely .. Now got to rebuild my screens .. DOH !!!!!!

The goodnews is .. my bluetooth keyboard now works with the phone .. Yay result !!

19.25 .. We arrive in Camberley .. at a Caribbean Restaurant .. "Papa's Kitchen". I've eaten Caribbean before .. loved it, Karen wasn't too sure about going .. but she says she'll go again .. "possibly". We are stuffed .. was lovely food, just as I remembered .. goat curry, jerk chicken, fried plantains .. rice and peas.

More to come ...

Day 2692. Sunday 22nd April 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

More to come ...

Day 2693. Monday 23rd April 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

06.10 .. The alarm ..

More to come ...

Day 2694. Tuesday 24th April 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

06.10 .. The alarm ..

More to come ...

Day 2695. Wednesday 25th April 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

06.10 .. The alarm ..

More to come ...

Day 2695 - Week 386 - Thursday 26th April 2012.

Day 2696. Thursday 26th April 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

06.10 .. The alarm ..

From my Facebook

I took a half day leave today, so I could go home and get ready for a night out ..


I went to a reunion tonight, with a large bunch of old colleagues from my ITN Engineering days. I must say, it was a rather odd situation. Some of my colleagues knew about me and were fine. Others clearly were aware of me and seemed to be avoiding eye contact at all cost, leaving feeling rather uncomfortable to say the least.

The old top boss, who actually interviewed me in 1982, organized the event and was very open in front of the others in engaging with me, others who would have certainly talked to me on one of my visits back to ITN pre transition seemed to make a point of moving away from me if I got to close, and would never look at me, though a few looked through me when moving past me.

Of the 40 people there I spoke to about 12, maybe 15 .. some actually came to me to speak to me who'd not known about Sarah .. I'm glad I went, not sure I'd repeat the experience with the broader team.

More to come ...

Day 2697. Friday 27th April 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

06.10 .. The alarm ..

08.25 .. Is now waiting for the gas man to arrive to service our hot air unit .. was told 20 minutes .. 20 minutes ago when he rang ..

10.30 .. I’m in work ..

I received an email yesterday from one of our department heads ..

Lt Col Peter Stradins from the Directorate of Army Manning will be presenting on Equality and Diversity in the Conference Room here at Chalfont on Wednesday May 9th at 11am. (see detail below).

Any members of staff interested in this subject, whatever their department, are more than welcome to attend this briefing.


The boss has accepted my offer to attend ..


The Army are coming to us to ..

"Learning something about BFBS and SSVC will be a fascinating insight.

For my part, I will present with certain aspects of the work we do here that I believe to be useful to your organisation (CD and data stick).

It is important to talk to BFBS about diversity and inclusion to explain:

Why E&D is important to the Army; legal compliance, business need, moral case and operational effectiveness.
The wide range of help that is available to all personnel, and to the chain of command, but which many appear not to know about
The routes available for personnel to raise concerns about the way they have been treated from minor issue through to formal service complaints
Most important - The need to develop a collaborative approach between recruiters, community engagement staff, DMC, my own branch, and single service M&C involving yourselves and the likes of Soldiers Magazine in promoting the diversity agenda, particularly UK Ethnic Minority recruiting. "

It may seem, for some of us, the army is trying to teach my employers to "suck eggs" .. little do they know SSVC / BFBS are well ahead of the game !!!

21.50 .. I discover my Facebook profile has been Time lined .. and I hate it.

22.21 .. I Hate Timeline .. my message to Facebook ..

I absolutely hate time line, and like many others who have been holding out in hope that the fascist dictators who run Facebook would see sense and leave this abomination an optional view .. it looks like I'll have to move the bulk of my "socialising" away from you to your competitors, Google+ and #Twitter.

For those of my friends who have already gone to Google+ .. here I am ..
More to come ...

Day 2698. Saturday 28th April 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

It’s the Saturday morning weigh in .. 14st 11lb .. sighs ..

Claire refuses to come home ..

16.10 .. We are in my mothers .. all seems fairly normal ..

17.25 .. We head for home ..

19.15 .. We head for the Half Moon to eat ..

21.10 .. Helga finds us and comes for a chat ..

21.25 .. We are home ..

From my Facebook profile ..

Bit of a strange day .. having had our Chinese take away last night, thinking Claire was coming home, so we've just been round to the Half Moon for a 3 course meal .. really "nice" food as always, "OK" wine, the bill £95 for two + tip. Helga the ancient landlady as always made a point of coming to us in the restaurant for a chat.

Three weeks ago in France, a superior 4 course meal with an excellent Claret would have been cheaper .. I love England !! There is decent food in the UK, like in the "House on the Bridge" in Eton, but then our bill would have been £150 - 200.

Why is everything so damned expensive, relatively, in the UK ??

More to come ...

Day 2699. Sunday 29th April 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

11.40 .. I head upstairs to shower ..

11.45 .. ish .. My phone rings .. it’s Melanie, she’s finished doing her church organ bit .. after she hangs up I head down and knock myself off call ..

12.05 .. I’m in the shower when Karen knocks on the bathroom door .. my mothers been on the phone to say she’s going to kill herself ..

Mother phoned this morning while I was in the shower, thinking she was going to get our answer phone .. Karen answered. I'll not go into the gory detail but allegedly had a fall in the night, basically she was about to top herself and was phoning to leave a message. She wears an emergency button round her neck but hadn't used it. She was in bed at this point.

12.15 .. I’ve called the police for help .. they transferred it to 999 service .. I’m given social services emergency number .. it goes to answer phone.

12.35 .. Having dryed off and driven there, the police arrive 10 minutes after than us.

I call mum’s doctors to get emergency number .. .. gp's out of hours service was 15 minutes of questions .. doctor called back 10 minutes later. Doctor suggested calling an ambulance to A&E .. he wouldn't, but mother through hissy fit at thought, local hospital, St Peters is crap .. sadly PC confirmed this in ear shot of mother from experience with his little boy this week.

12.45 .. A Policeman has arrived .. he comes and chats with Karen and I before chatting to mother ..

14.15 .. ish Social services call back .. they call back 2 hours later ..

14.40 .. We head for home ..

14.55 .. We are at Waitrose ..

More to come ...

Day 2700. Monday 30th April 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

06.10 .. The alarm ..

More to come ...

Day 2701. Tuesday 1st May 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

06.10 .. The alarm ..

From my Facebook profile ..

Don't know about any of my friends, but I'm beginning to find it hard to "like" postings that have a message about / from God .. religious bigots, those that use the bible to cane my friends and I with, is starting to put the shade on things that a few years ago I'd like without question.

More to come ...

Day 2702. Wednesday 2nd May 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

06.10 .. The alarm ..

From my Facebook profile ..

So the Tory members of the House of Commons media committee failed to endorse the findings because of a line added criticising Murdoch saying he's unfit to be involved in UK media, creating questions to his influence on B Skye B.
Murdock and his management clearly are unfit, lying to Parliament and clearly knowing about all their intrusive dirty tricks.
It would be interesting to see how much money Murdoch businesses have donated to Tory party funds ..

and ..

Well, our new Panasonic TX-L32E5B TV finally arrived from John Lewis .. but they seem to have stitched me up re the £50 goodwill offer .. <<sighs >>.
However .. the picture and sound quality from such a thin 32" set is truely awesome, BBC HD preview of the weekends wild life fest was just eye popping !!
Down side .. it's not recognising the Netgear WNDA3100V2 as it's supposed too .. so no smart functions working yet. :-(

More to come ...

Day 2703 - Week 387 - Thursday 3rd May 2012.

Day 2703. Thursday 3rd May 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

06.10 .. The alarm ..

08.59 .. I’m in the office ..

09.10 .. A cup of tea and a slice of Phil’s left over chocolate birthday cake ..

With the news that a private contractor set to run one debt ridden hospitals best facility .. my Facebook comment was ..

So how is skimming off the first £2,000,000 of "surplus" saving tax payers money .. that's £2,000,000 of tax payers money going into the pocket of 1 or more of the Tory elitist 1% .. is that fair on the tax payer ?
Then we hear 600 paramedics / ambulance staff are to be made redundant .. well that's fair isn't it for the 1% who can afford everything private !!

Why don't the Tories and there crony Lib Dems just come out with it .. "we are going to level taxation from the poor to pay to the rich, to get revenge for what Robin Hood did to us rich 1% years ago".

12.10 .. Had an interesting chat with my mum's GP before heading to mum's place this afternoon. He rather confirmed a lot of Karen and I's suspicions.

Social services are just fab .. not. 90 minutes with one of their assessors, my mother, sister and Karen .. total waste of space and time I suspect. We have been let into one wheeze though .. somebody needs to be registered as the responsible career in name...

More to come ...

Day 2704. Friday 4th May 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

06.10 .. The alarm ..
08.56 .. I’m in the office ..

10.05 .. The smell in the office is too much .. I head for the canteen to get myself a cooked breakfast .. sausage, bacon, hash browns and baked beans .. 

More to come ...

Day 2705. Saturday 5th May 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

It’s the Saturday morning weigh in .. 14st 11lb .. that’s a surprise after yesterdays double yammy breakfast ...

Saturday night and no Claire = Chinese take away night .. my fortune cookies tonight. "YOU WILL NEVER BE TAKEN IN" followed by "YOUR LUCKY NUMBER NINE WILL KEEP YOUR FUTURE SAFE" .. hmmmm. Well as to the second one, we've lived at number 9 for 27 plus years .. and I suppose in some ways it's been lucky for me and kept us safe. I might be a little too trusting for the the first one .. but hey ho ..

More to come ...

Day 2706. Sunday 6th May 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

More to come ...

Day 2707. Monday 7th May 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

06.10 .. The alarm ..

More to come ...

Day 2708. Tuesday 8th May 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

06.10 .. The alarm ..

08.12 .. I’m on the road .. the TomTom has decided to take me via the M3 ..

08.52 .. I’m parked outside the office ..

10.35 .. Tom and I finally head of to Dr Cheese for our blood tests ..

10.56 .. We arrive at Dr Cheeses practice in Stoke Poges .. I go do the business first.

Dr Cheese, wise man gets me to lay down for the blood test .. hopefully when I get the results it’ll be over the magic 100 .. then I wont have to face another set of Hep. B jabs.

11.45 .. Back in the office .. Dr Cheese clearly put the plaster in the wrong place .. I’ve dribbled blood onto my T shirt while driving .. DOH.

18.48 .. I’m home .. just in time to pick the phone up on mother ..

Well this is very telling .. she’s on a good old fashioned rant, her voice is just like it would have been 10 years ago when she was tongue lashing somebody .. so where is the feeble voice of the last year or so ..

In the news today was that the prime ministers cabinet crones have vetoed making the NHS privatisation risk register public ..

On Facebook I wrote ..

Why do the public need to be kept in the dark about this .. clearly the risks are being over ruled by the profits to be made by their future employers following the next general election and we, the tax payer, has been stuffed by irrevocable contracts.

22.53 .. I think I've had that eureka moment as to my health problems recently ..

About 3 years ago my doctor put me on Nasonex 50. After a lot of searching tonight I stumbled over a site that was not run by the manufacturers or interested parties ..

CORTICOSTEROIDS-INHALATION .. can have some interesting side effects if used continually .. including the list of things that I've been complaining about .. shortness of breath, heart palpitations, insomnia, fatigue, coughing, joint and muscle pain, muscle weakness, bloated stomach, loss of sense of smell and strange taste, headaches, blurred vision, increased tinnitus ..

I guess I need to call my doctor and see what they think ..

More to come ...

Day 2709. Wednesday 9th May 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

06.10 .. The alarm ..

The M40 eastbound is stuffed all the way back onto the M25 .. TomTom to the rescue as it takes me west to J2 and back across country to Chalfont.

09.06 .. I’m parked outside the office ..

11.00 .. I’m in our conference room for a lecture from a chap from the Army’s diversity unit.

It’s an interesting lecture, with some quite shocking admissions of how bad the army is in certain area’s. Although LGB&T and gender were high up on his list, most of his 75 minutes is about race and religion .. which I question later .. catching him on the hop.

When most go, Joanne from personnel, Nikky and I hang back. I state the position of my company and how good it is, Nikky strokes my shoulder as a sign of appreciation ( I hope ). He’s going to send me some bunf through Lou for me to try and access the Army transgender support group.

12.55 .. Time for lunch .. PAB.

13.10 .. I head out to Johnsons Honda in Beaconsfield to collect the paint touch up they’ve got me for Violet ..

13.56 .. I’m back in the office ..

17.12 .. I head for home ..

17.58 .. I’m home ..

I head upstairs for a quick clean up before making the call to mothers doctor ..

18.15 .. On the second attempt .. mums doctor answers the phone .. well now there’s a surprise .. mother has been feeding us total bullshit .. and yesterday she phoned him to give him a tongue lashing based on a load of twaddle she’d imagined. I record the call via speaker phone to play to my sister Juliet later.

19.10 .. Using the postcode from my invite to the interview, I’m in the wrong street, but can see Sandy lane on the map, so I back track and head the correct way ..

19.13 .. I’m parked up in a road my TomTom calls “The Firs” .. opposite a row of what look like police houses .. except these are now seemingly offices. One has a sign “Firearms Licencing Office” .. ho hum. I studdy the map before trying to find the building.

19.20 .. I ring the bell and I’m welcomed in and offered a chair to wait.

19.30 .. I’m welcomed by Ian Cole, Chair of the Independent Advisory Group. A very interesting 45 minute interview follows with the chairman of the Surrey Police IAG and a member of the police authority.

I was rather taken aback by the appearance of the chairman, I was expecting somebody stiff, probably a lord or a sir in suit, but he's a LGBT rep himself and full time LGBT worker who used to be NHS staff but now a member of Virgin Health .. doing the same job.

Some of the questions where quite .. erm .. amusing isn't the right word but .. and he did say he'd already read something about me on somebodies blog .. but not mine .. Jane Fae's !!

Do I stand up to authoritarian people ? .. I think a colleague or two can answer that !!

I'll get a call in the next couple of days, them seeking more information about me for a CRB check .. hmmm, well no worries there cause I'm sure I wouldn't have got my MOD unescorted clearance level if I had skeletons in my cupboard ( to early for the corpses to get that far yet ;-)) ).

20.18 .. Back in the car .. I call Karen and head for home ..

The TomTom shows me a different route home .. and I learn a little about some of the roads around Guildford, following the TomTom .. it cuts a large corner off of what would have been my choice of route home.

20.47 .. I’m home .. dinner is waiting .. cold roast chicken ( from last night ) with a salad ..

21.25 .. Post dinner, I call Juliet and play her the recording of what the doctor has said ..

More to come ...

Day 2710 - Week 388 - Thursday 10th May 2012.

Day 2710. Thursday 10th May 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

06.10 .. The alarm ..

08.58 .. I park up outside the office ..

More to come ...

Day 2711. Friday 11th May 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

06.10 .. The alarm ..

06.32 .. Up and at it ..

08.00 .. I’m really not feeling much better than last night, so I make a doctors appointment ..

10.03 .. I head for the doctors .. but there’s a problem with the traffic at the bottom of the village and I’m delayed .. then parking is still crazy at the surgery, takes me a while to wiggle the car into  a tiny slot ..

10.14 .. I check in for my 10.10 appointment.
10.16 .. I’m called in by the doctor .. is she just annoyed cause I’m a little late .. it’s ok when they are late. She listens to my chest .. and gives me a sample pot to catch what I’ve been coughing.

10.33 .. I’m on the road for work ..

11.09 .. I park up outside my office.

14.30 .. ish .. My company mobile rings, it’s a nice lady from the Surrey Police Authority .. officially offering me a place on their Independent Advisory Group, they liked me during the interview on Wednesday and so want me to join. They want to do a CRB on me, so they are sending me a form, and she invites me to join their next meeting on the 22nd May .. “to meet everyone”, taking the CRB form and my passport with me.

17.10 .. I’m desperate for the loo for the 3rd time today .. oo er .. my lunch time apple re appears .. this isn’t good.

17.35 .. I head for home ..

More to come ...

Day 2712. Saturday 12th May 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

07.10 .. The alarm ..

07.35 .. Up and at it .. I head for the shower ..

08.12 .. Out of the shower, I go do the Saturday morning weigh in .. 14st 11 ½ lb .. not what I was hoping for.

I go lay on the bed for a moment and catch some news ..

08.32 .. I’m downstairs, to sort the laptop out and have breakfast.

09.10 .. It’s not good news on the Claire front, so it looks like we are going to have to travel North to see her.

Jamie and Vicky arrive ..

10.10 .. ish Vicky heads for home .. Jamie is coming to see Claire.

10.22 .. We head off to see Claire via my sister in law Tracy’s house, to collect a cake made by Roxanne .. she’s very good at making cakes.

10.27 .. We arrive outside Tracy’s house, I rather nervously follow Karen and Jamie to the front door. Tracy opens the door and beckons Karen and Jamie in .. I wait outside till Karen calls me in.

Tracy does throw one insult my way when she tells Roxanne to “show him” a decorated picture frame that she’s made and is going to sell. I gave her a box of small picture frames that were specially made to celebrate an occasion by my last company, that were going to be skipped.

10.36 .. We leave my sister in law’s house .. and head for Alfreton to see Claire ..

10.39 .. We join the M3 at Lightwater .. heading for the M25 and M1.

I’ve not used my Samsung Galaxy S2 for tethering purposes since it’s major operating system update a few weeks ago .. it’s changed a bit, hopefully for the better .. so I try and set it up the way I’ve tried in the past .. with the name “Sarahs_Hotspot” and a password I can easily remember .. I hit “save” in hope that it will .. save it that is, it’s never before !!!

11.08 .. We join the M1 .. it’s moving well but suddenly we are overtaken by a police car that then slows down ..

11.12 .. We are stopped .. the police get out of their car and start moving some large chunks of truck tyre from the carriageway.

11.16 .. Back on the road ..

12.06 .. We stop at Watford Gap services .. I need the loo.

12.20 .. Back on the road .. as we head north it’s getting cloudier ..

12.55 .. I call Steve back at home on my mobile as we pull into Donnington services .. Karen and Jamie go in while I sit in the car .. Steve is really worried about his girl friend.

13.08 .. Steve says goodbye as Karen and Jamie return .. lunch is served .. M&S Chicken and stuffing granary sandwich, with a baby pork pie and some plain crisps, followed by some Mango chunks, washed down with Pink Lady apple juice .. that filled the whole.

13.32 .. Back on the road .. ETA Claire 33 minutes ..

13.44 .. We leave the M1 heading up the A610 ..

14.00 .. We arrive at Claire’s home ..

On first sight of us Claire gets out of bed and makes a charge at us .. we retreat to an office for refuge .. we are offered a cup of tea.

We spend the next few hours looking through Claire’s revised care plan and listening to a health and infection control lecture being given to two recent recruits .. yuk !!!

16.40 .. Claire has calmed a little, enough for us to get a kiss and leave ..

16.45 .. ish .. We set out for home .. well that really was a pointless visit to be honest .. but we had to do it. Karen chooses the deepest rut to drive out through and grounds the sills of the car both sides .. great. As we head further away she continues to drive through rather than around pot holes .. it’s my car even if it has her number plate on it !!!

The M1 treats us kindly and we don’t get held up .. 

18.35 .. We join the M25 .. nearly home .. another 40 mins .. allegedly .. except Mrs Schumacher has just taken over the wheel of Violet ..

18.53 .. We leave the M25 .. the fuel light comes on as we go round the A30 loop .. so a quick dive into the Shell garage in Egham for a fill up.

19.18 .. We are home ..

More to come ...

Day 2713. Sunday 13th May 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

09.22 .. I head North for a shower ..

10.05 .. I’m in the bedroom getting dressed ..

11.25 .. We arrive at mothers place ..

Looks like I’ve set myself up for some work in mothers bedroom .. moving a wall hung phone and intercepting a mains feed to a table light to make it controllable from mothers bed.

12.55 .. We finally leave mothers ..

13.20 .. We arrive at our local Indian restaurant .. Jamie’s treat to us for Canadian Mothers Day .. we are the only sit down customers. Our usual friendly young Indian chap is in jeans and coloured shirt rather than the usual suit !!!

14.35 .. As we leave the restaurant Karen quips to one of the waiters ( following my introduction of “step son from Canada” ) as she leaves “there isn’t many Indians in Canada” .. ground opens up !!!

14.38 .. We are home .. Jamie drives away in Red ..

15.05 .. Karen and I head for Waitrose ..

16.15 .. Back from Waitrose .. a cup of tea before doing the lawns ..

16.35 .. To the grind .. back & front lawns ..

22.00 .. After a bit of prodding from friends .. I’m now on Twitter .. @SarahHeleneuk

More to come ...

Day 2714. Monday 14th May 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

06.10 .. The alarm ..

10.30 .. A gathering in Studio 3 ..

01.15 .. Time for lunch .. PAB

14.20 .. I suggest to Phil we should maybe put the new TV on the wall in studio reception area ..

14.40 .. I head for Chalfont St Peter to get some M8 screws .. wrong move. I then drive to Gerrards Cross .. success.

15.22 .. I’m back in the office ..

17.34 .. I head for home ..

18.22 .. I’m home ..

19.06 .. We Head for Chobham ..

19.11 .. We arrive outside East & Orient in Chobham .. Karen and I met 8 of the family at East & Orient in Chobham.

Starts with Jamie arriving, driving our RED Jazz he has on loan, and backs it into a wall of the building .. marking the back bumper .. grrrrrr .. which Karen will no doubt let him off.

End of the meal .. all in £22 a head .. ladies eat cheaper on a Monday .. so Karen decides we should pay for Robert & Jamie and their girlfriend / fiancée !!!

I love life, well I try to, but life keeps mugging me !!!

More to come ...

Day 2715. Tuesday 15th May 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

06.10 .. The alarm ..

More to come ...

Day 2716. Wednesday 16th May 2012.

Memory Joggers ...

06.10 .. The alarm ..

More to come ...

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