Sarah's Transition Diary Index.
Index updated 17.02.13
Diary Updated 24.07.12

Diary Readers
.. I have removed the bulk of my diary from the start to 23/07/10, to allow me to "annonamise" more of the people in the place that employed me till 23/07/10. I have a new job to go to ( had the offer just 9 days after being told of the impending redundancy on 29/06/10 ). So at the moment, a lot of the important transition information in the diary is unavailable to people .. blame my old employers !!.

However the January 08 trip for SRS with Dr Suporn and my return visit to him in March 09 for BA and ULL .. has returned, and from 23/07/10 onwards as time allows. The rest will follow eventually.
To find the blocks that are up now just look for the yellow hightlighting like this in the left colomn below as you spool down .. << smiles >>.

Standard "T-girl" ( Transgender and Transsexual ) disclaimer.

If you find the "T-girl" subject offensive, can't handle it, too young to understand, against your State or Country's Laws or you are under 18 - perhaps you should leave here now. Sorry but you won't find any nudity, porn, etc., here, so if that is what you are seeking you may as well go and search somewhere else. I hope you enjoy your visit here and find it interesting and maybe educational. You may also find information here useful if you are starting down this route of discovering your "true self".

IMGP3554_crop_adj_16.jpgThis is the index for my Diary pages. As with any diary, it's a work in progress. This diary is my outlook on family life, work life and the rest of the baggage I'm carrying as I go forward though hormone treatment towards transition and beyond. My experiences as my body and mind are altered by the hormones will be recorded. I'll try and be as open as possible, if you know me and have seen my other site bits, you'll realize I am pretty open and honest about things. Some of the serious personal stuff I may choose to omit if my wife says so .. names of friends and colleagues who do not know about me I'll only use their initials to protect identities ... specially mine .. till they know .. I have to be very careful till I am "out" fully at work.
.. This picture taken on 24/09/06.

Christmas Eve 2007 MP3 track .. 1.77Mb.   The DJ's voice you will hear is that of the late Kevin Greening.

( Updated November 2011 ) .. Ok folks, this is the famous Dr Suporn clinic .. this isn't the hospital where most of the surgeries are carried out. This is where you'll have your pre op assessment and discussion with Dr Suporn, and will be the hub of your life once out of hospital post op. Come and meet Dr Suporn, his wife Aoi and daughter Eve, I feel privileged to be allowed by Mrs Suporn to use the picture of them that I took in here, here. Click the image  of the clinic or here to enter.

Also on that page, via a picture of Mrs Suporn with 6 of the 7 girl personal assistants, you can see a page on most of the staff I captured .. so should you find your way here, or have been already and simply want some memories refreshed, simply click on the  picture on the left. The pictures on the following pages are a good resolution, when you roll your mouse over and click the pictures of the staff on the following page  you will hear them say their names .. Thanks to Emma Stott for her help there.

This is the Aikchol Hospital, a couple of miles or so from the clinic. This is where Dr Suporn does his amazing, truly life changing work. His staff on his floor are amazing, they really do put UK health authorities to shame. Click the picture here to see and hear some of the staff, I got a lot more here this year than last.

News Flash : November 16th 2011.... I'm resident in Chonburi, Thailand again, a short trip added to a business trip to Brunei for a check up and sort out a couple of little issues, with Dr Suporn. Updates as and when possible in my diary.

News Flash: April 4th 2009 : Dr Suporn thinks it's wise I stay an extra week; problems with the breast augmentation and excessive fluid. It gets worse .. due to the Thai new year celebrations all the flights are full, I can't get a flight home till 22nd April .. well it's more recovery time.

News Flash : February 14th 2009 .... Return trip to Dr Suporn in Chonburi, Thailand.
I have my confirmation e-mail from Dr Suporn's admin. girl Sophie that they have my money and everything is now confirmed .. sorted !!  I'll be flying out on 18th March, surgery on 24th March  returning to England 11th April. This will be the entry point to the special section I'll do while away during this period .. click here or on the Thai flag above left .. updates as and when possible in my diary as usual !!
  If you want to see my first trip for SRS / GRS  .. scroll down a bit to the next Thai flag !!

News Flash : April 2nd 2008 for Dr Suporn SRS/GRS post op girls ..

I'd been having real problems with dilation, and I know I'm not alone. Sophie at Dr Suporn's clinic gave us a whole day lecture just on this and self care, emphasizing how important it is to do this and ideas on making it easier. The main key and emphasis was on relaxing while doing it. I'd tried all sorts, including my favourite laid back "Enigma" and "ERA" CD's .. but I'd fall asleep or loose concentration on the timing aspects emphasized by Sophie. So using by skills as a professional sound engineer, I've set to making some 34 second loops of sounds that are both relaxing and contain audio markers that help wake you up << grimace >>, soothe you and help keep time to what Sophie suggested. I've used royalty free sound clips and chosen wide band width and dynamic clips that the ear likes to hear.

Hot News April 2009 !! : My soundtrack has been accepted by the clinic as an aid to easier dynamic dilation, they've listened, seen how it's used and had independent testimonies from other patients as to it's effectiveness .. the clinic is going to start giving copies to SRS patients !!.

Well it's helped me in the "difficult" 2 - 3 month period get typical dilation times down from 80 - 90 minutes to 43 - 50 .. you
can listen to or down load samples here.

( Update November 2011 ) .. Following feed back from those who had used my sound track .. I've modified it. I've supplied the clinic ( Mrs Suporn ) with the new version which is now two tracks .. an initial 60 minutes to get to depth with .. at anypoint you can just skip to track 2 .. which is a 15 minute "Quality time!!" band that ends with a fabulous Chinese gong .. it's down to the clinic to issue it or not !!! In fact I left two different versions of the MP3 .. one has Dr and Mrs Suporn's picture together as the embedded "Album cover" .. the other is blank .. would be nice to find out  if they start giving the new version, and which one !!

News Flash : January 12th 2008.... I'm resident in Chonburi, Thailand for my GRS with Dr Suporn on 16th January 2008 .. want to see something of where I am and what I'll be doing and seeing .. click here or on the Thai flag on the left .. updates as and when possible in my diary.

Latest News : December 16th 2007.... I'm starting to create a "Trans" links section right here .. this is just the start !!!

News Flash : July 28th 2005.... Just about everybody who needs to know, and many that didn't need to know ... now do !!!

News Flash : August 30th 2005.... I have officially "transitioned", legally Sarah and on my RLT. Roll on 2 years !!!

News Flash : August 30th 2006.... I have been legally Sarah and doing my RLT for 1 year. I'm half way there !!!

News Flash : January 18th 2007.... I'm officially booked in for my GRS with Dr Suporn in Chonburi, Thailand for 5th July 2007 .. well I was !!

News Flash : June 8th 2007.... My new date for GRS is confirmed as 16th January 2008 ... so far again !!!

News Flash : August 30th 2007.... I have been legally Sarah and doing my RLT for 2 years .. life is .. lovely !!!

News Flash : September 4th 2007.... Another mile stone in my journey .. 1000 days on HRT .. time really has flown by !!!

News Flash : January 16th 2008.... Dr Suporn did my GRS / SRs surgery in Chonburi, Thailand today !!

30th August 2007 .. I'm two year's plus into my RLT now, some say I've had it easy, I put that down to my pre planning, method of "telling folk" and yes a fair amount of consideration from others. Doing this is about 90% self confidence and 10% support in my opinion .. If people are trying to knock you, you stand up for your legal rights and who you are .. a sensitive human being .. then get on with life. This diary is my personal account of life .. from the simple basic entries at the start it has grown into an aid memoir for me. There is a lot of mundane life stuff in it after about Christmas 2006 .. my life isn't all ground breaking TS stuff .. if your in a “routine” job much of life is repetition. However relationships with people change, attitudes, feelings and the way you react does change under the influence of the hormones. I've learnt what affects my hormone absorption, that affects or creates moods and swings in my emotions and attitudes. Most important of all .. I'm still learning too, nobody knows it all, and for this reason my diary is important to me.

On 1st February 2007, I had a motorcycle accident which was in the short term a little life changing in itself, a week later my specialist thought it right to alter my hormone regime. Dr Curtis meant well I am sure, but he has messed up my hormone balance totally and I'm waiting to see if what he's prescribed now, Spironolactone, will put things right
both physically and emotionally .. somehow I doubt it from the advise I've had from others, but I'll give it a try.

I now know that there is a Dr Michael Perring, an ex colleague and friend of Dr Russell Reid from his Charring Cross Hospital days, that is also practising just a few minutes walk from Dr Curtis. I am told Dr Perring also holds the belief like Russell that Progesterone plays an important role in TS development, Dr Curtis thinks it doesn't, clearly my body knew and proved it does. Over the next couple of months I suspect I'll be going to see Dr Perring, as clearly Dr Curtis won't believe the physical evidence and won't be swayed from his beliefs..

Copyright: All rights to the contents of this and linked pages are reserved and owned by Sarah Hélène. No publication, or reproduction in any way without the direct written consent of the owner. I will allow quotations to be made by individuals on internet groups that I have published my links too.

Preface :  December 2004.

I saw Dr Russell Reid on Wednesday 17th November 2004.
My wife has known about "Sarah" as a "CD" for all our 22 years of married life plus 2 days ... as probable TS for about 18 months ...
My GP has known about my "CDing" for about 15 years ... as probable TS for about 12 months ...
My mum was told and has accepted and supported me for about 10 years ... as probable TS for about 3 months ...
My sister was initially told about me in October 2004, and is accepting ... as is her husband and daughters ...
I told my (part time business) business partner, his wife ( who told their 2 teenage children) in late November 2004 and they are accepting ...

Abbreviations used:

RR = Dr Russell Reid.
RC = Dr Richard Curtis .. RR's flame carrier on RR's retirement in 2006.
MP = Dr Michael Perring .. my chosen support specialist from November 2007.
GRA = Gender Recognition Act 2004.
LTS = Long Tall Sally a clothes shop for tall women with branches nation wide here in the UK.
August 2006 : Contacting Sarah ..

If you want to contact me regarding issues raised in this diary then please use this e-mail address ..  

Well it's time I started my own group .. GRS in Thailand .. this group will have a restricted membership, restricted to those who identify as  female , though transgendered, male to female. As the name suggests .. it's about finding resources in Thailand .. as the membership builds .. I hope many post op girls, from different surgeons will join and share there experiences with those just starting this amazing, often terrifying journey. I was given help through different groups .. I'd hope others will join here to help support others. Support is the key word .. "flaming" and "spamming" will not be tolerated .. unless you want to be moderated. I'm looking for a few trust able friends to help moderate and build this site.

Click to join

Click to join GRSinThailand

Well I know some people don't like Yahoo, but have asked me if the groups can be expanded into other Domains, well I had but have not really advertised them .. so here's the links to the "mirror" groups, with the old "famous" SRSinThailand name, on Google groups .. again the aim on this mirror is the same as the Yahoo group.

Google Groups

My actual Diary pages start below .. just click the links.

Where day blocks below are in GREEN, you'll find pictures in those months entries, most are immediately visible pictures, others are links to pictures. NOTE : Some links take you to pictures of surgery procedures .. not for the squeamish .. probably.

Diary .. days 1- 28 (09-12-04 to 05-01-05)

Well this is where I start my "hormone trial" .. it soon becomes obvious that this is so right for me. Christmas proves pretty stressful in a way as the hormone changes really have started to kick in ..

Diary .. days 29 - 56 (06-01-05 to 02-02-05)

Things are starting to settle, I'm feeling really happy but this is also a scary time too .. this hormone trial is more than that .. it's opened a window in my life .. and I think my breasts are "budding" already !!

Diary .. days 57 - 84 (03-02-05 to 02-03-05)

7th Feb. : Motorbike accident .. My first hormonal black hole .. Lot's of time spent creating a document / script to help me get my message  across to everyone. Get this wrong .. could be a disaster for me.

Diary .. days 85 - 112 (03-03-05 to 30-03-05)

.. see 20th - 26th March ... the hardest days of my life, telling the family !!!

Diary .. days 113 - 140 (31-03-05 to 27-04-05)

4th April .. another black hole trying to swallow me ..
Telling friends about my plans is pretty stressful, but I am amazed how many are sympathetic to my struggle ..
4th April .. I'm put on Cipralex .. an anti depressant.

Diary .. days 141 - 168 (28-04-05 to 25-05-05)

More people are told, and I get some lovely, caring replies, the owners of our local Chinese are really kind .. but an unexpected turn against me from my sister in law .. I thought she'd care more ..
May 23rd .. the Cipralex isn't helping .. so now it's Prozac.

Diary .. days 169 - 196 (26-05-05 to 22-06-05)

see 7th - 16th June ... the most scary but important days of Sarah's life .. telling work !!! .. but the reception from colleagues is amazing !!
20th June .. an accident at work .. I cause chaos at St Mary's Hospital.

Diary .. days 197 - 224 (23-06-05 to 20-07-05)

Well the good news is that people are indicating that they really are Ok with the idea of my transition. Feedback through the HR department at work seems to be positive, though a few staff are "reserved" towards me now .. some I know from others don't know what to say. 

Diary .. days 225 - 252 (21-07-05 to 17-08-05)

More people are told .. people are being very kind .. but I'm getting nervous as the day approaches .. 

Diary .. days 253 - 280 (18-08-05 to 14-09-05)

... 30th August 2005 .. I'm legally Sarah today
... start of my Real Life Test at work

Diary .. days 281 - 308 (15-09-05 to 12-10-05)

... 15-09-05 .. In hospital for an operation on my sinuses ..
... 27-09-05 .. my first taste of "public" nastiness, in Holland and Barratt's.
Able to cope now .. I wean myself off of the Prozac.

Diary .. days 309 - 336 (13-10-05 to 09-11-05)

A 26-10-05 .. trip to France, and a truly wonderful reception from the hotel owner .. it's my first trip as Sarah, though the staff have seen the French version of my "telling folk" .. 

Diary .. days 337 - 364 (10-11-05 to 07-12-05)

... 10-11-05 .. truly the worst day of my life.
.. 07-12-05 .. In Frimley Park Hospital for a minor OP on my foot ..

Diary .. days 365 - 392 (08-12-05 to 04-01-06)

... one year on hormones !!!.

Diary .. days 393 - 420 (05-01-06 to 01-02-06)

A school teacher finds my diary while searching for a respite home, she finds it fascinating .. we exchange e-mails for a while .. my last appointment with Russell Reid before his retirement .. he'll be missed. 

Diary .. days 421 - 448 (02-02-06 to 01-03-06)

A run in with my engineering boss .. I feel I'm being victimized .. but it maybe I'm just a bit hormonal at the moment .. not the best of times to be honest .. I start speech therapy to try and feminise my voice !! 

Diary .. days 449 - 476 (02-03-06 to 29-03-06)

... I'll never be 50 .. 49 again .. yes .. !!!.

Diary .. days 477 - 504 (30-03-06 to 26-04-06)


Diary .. days 505 - 532 (27-04-06 to 24-05-06)


Diary .. days 533 - 560 (25-05-06 to 21-06-06)

... Is this total disaster looming .. see 02-06-06 and 04-06-06.

Diary .. days 561 - 588 (22-06-06 to 19-07-06)

... Will I be jobless from 04-07-06 ? .. I shouldn't be .. time will tell.

Diary .. days 589 - 616 (20-07-06 to 16-08-06)


Diary .. days 617 - 644 (17-08-06 to 13-09-06)

... 30th August .. Sarah is 1 year old today .. !!!

Diary .. days 645 - 672 (14-09-06 to 11-10-06)


Diary .. days 673 - 700 (12-10-06 to 08-11-06)


Diary .. days 701 - 728 (09-11-06 to 06-12-06)


Diary .. days 729 - 756 (07-12-06 to 03-01-07)

09-12-06 ... two years on hormones !!!.
Christmas day, not one to remember though sadly we probably will.
Happy New Year folks .. for me this is the big year !!

Diary .. days 757 - 784 (04-01-07 to 31-01-07)

I've got some serious organizing to do this month .. by the end of the month I expect to be talking to a doctor about dates .. I've also got to do something serious about my weight .. I'm starting to run ..

Diary .. days 785 - 812 (01-02-07 to 28-02-07)

01-02-07 ... knocked off my motor bike again .. a hit and run driver in the evening rush hour .. my first real injury .. a difficult broken thumb.
07-02-07 .. A major change of hormone regime causes "problems".

Diary .. days 813 - 840 (01-03-07 to 28-03-07)

Well I'm still of work,  it's soo boring and I'm worrying about my position at work.
27-03-07 .. "It's still only 8 weeks, don't worry" .. says the Physio.

Diary .. days 841 - 868 (29-03-07 to 25-04-07)

19/04/07 .. I'm having to seek a delay in my GRS due to my damaged thumb probably needing to be reset to correct my 1/2" shortfall, however disappointing this is, my hands must take priority.

Diary .. days 869 - 896 (26-04-07 to 23-05-07)


Diary .. days 897 - 924 (24-05-07 to 20-06-07)

08/06/07 .. I've got a new date for my GRS 16/01/08 !!

Diary .. days 925 - 952 (21-06-07 to 18-07-07)


Diary .. days 953 - 980 (19-07-07 to 15-08-07)


Diary .. days 981 - 1008 (16-08-07 to 12-09-07)

... 30th August .. Sarah is 2 years old today .. !!!

Diary .. days 1009 - 1036 (13-09-07 to 10-10-07)

09/10/07 .. It's our silver wedding anniversary !!

Diary .. days 1037 - 1064 (11-10-07 to 07-11-07)

20th - 28th .. a little holiday .. at home.
27/10/07 .. It's Karen's Birthday, and my uncle died today .. the only person to not know me as Sarah !!

Diary .. days 1065 - 1092 (08-11-07 to 05-12-07)

06/11/07 .. Chelsea & Westminster Hospital to see if they can do anything with my right thumb and hand .. probably not !!
10/11/07 .. 2 years to the day my son rejected me .. he's back !!

Diary .. days 1093 - 1120 (06-12-07 to 02-01-08)

08/12/07 .. It's the company Christmas party in Manchester but Karen and I have decided not to go again because of my work situation !!
09/12/07 .. Three years on Hormones today.

Diary .. days 1121 - 1148 (03-01-08 to 30-01-08)

11/01/08 .. I fly off for my SRS/GRS on 16/01/08 .. it's happiness, pain and danger .. you don't expect to be poisoned by your hotel !!
See my Thailand photo section for the pictures !!

Diary .. days 1149 - 1176 (31-01-08 to 27-02-08)

16/02/08 .. I fly home from my SRS/GRS, for a happy future ?

Diary .. days 1177 - 1204 (28-02-08 to 26-03-08)

Finding time to continue this in the current format is becoming very difficult .. the drudgery ( dilating ) takes so much time out of everyday and sitting at the PC isn't very comfortable at the moment !!! 

Diary .. days 1205 - 1232 (27-03-08 to 23-04-08)

Back to work .. !!!! I'm allowed to start the first two and a half weeks doing a 3 day week, I get so tired I find on the days I work, short days or not.

Diary .. days 1233 - 1260 (24-04-08 to 21-05-08)

Well my diary has to end or change format sometime .. there's going to be less mundane detail now .. I haven't got the time.

Diary .. days 1261 - 1288 (22-05-08 to 18-06-08)

Floods in Somerset .. and some nice roses ..
and meet a really nice colleague .. DJ Tony .. log tastic mate .. LOL.

Diary .. days 1289 - 1316 (19-06-08 to 16-07-08)

1st July .. an appointment with Dr Perring.

Diary .. days 1317 - 1344 (17-07-08 to 13-08-08)

7th - 11th August .. a trip to France .. Monnett's and Dior's homes & gardens .. WOW!! .. I've done a special page of pictures . .sorry about the legs !!!

Diary .. days 1345 - 1372 (14-08-08 to 10-09-08)

30th August .. I'm 3 years old !!
A horrible night in Cardiff .. 19th August .. a nice meal with friends on the 20th.

Diary .. days 1373 - 1400 (11-09-08 to 08-10-08)

I'm seriously starting to hate computers .. they are costing me, well Bob's is, too many late nights .. but there is a chink of light at the end of the tunnel .. LOL.

Diary .. days 1401 - 1428 (09-10-08 to 05-11-08)

Our wedding anniversary .. and Karen's birthday.

Diary .. days 1429 - 1456 (06-11-08 to 03-12-08)

09-11 .. we get to meet the future in-laws ..
11-11 .. a shopping trip to LTS for a frock for the company bash
28/11/08 .. my father died.

Diary .. days 1457 - 1484 (04-12-08 to 31-12-08)

Well this diary has served it's purpose, pointless carrying on, I go weeks now without feedback, though it wasn't really written to entertain others, I know a few still read here regularly, but they are getting fewer .. time to think about this, to carry on or not. Serious picture feast this month .. updated heavily 19-12-08.

Diary .. days 1485 - 1512 (01-01-09 to 28-01-09)
Surprise !!! .. I'm probably going to continue till after my trip to Thailand in March ( I hope ) .. maybe till Easter .. but the format has to change. 11-01-09 .. I e-mail the Suporn Clinic to try and get a date for my next surgery ( BA ) and SRS revision .. waiting for a reply !!.  

Diary .. days 1513 - 1540 (29-01-09 to 25-02-09)

29-01-09 .. I've got my flights booked for my return to Thailand!!!
04-02-09 .. My money is on it's way to Dr Suporn .. and it seems my thoughts here have got me into trouble !!

Diary .. days 1541 - 1568 (26-02-09 to 25-03-09)

24th March .. my date for BA and Upper Lip Lift with Dr Suporn. The SRS revision is just amazing, a friend who visits doesn't recognize my face post ULL, as for the BA .. look lovely, hurt like hell !!.

Diary .. days 1569 - 1596 (26-03-09 to 22-04-09)
28-03-09 .. Discharged after 4 night's in hospital on morphine .. without any serious pain killers .. BA ( or AM) is the op that most say hurts most .. not a happy first night back at hotel as a result !!
16-04-09 rushed to hospital for an adrenaline jab .. fish allergy triggered by crocodile steak !!. I'm home .. 22-04-09 .. phew !!

Diary .. days 1597 - 1624 (23-04-09 to 20-05-09)
Back home .. exhausted .. Dr's given me an EpiPen and sorting an appointment with Allergy specialist .. shaking off the jet lag was difficult, and my breasts swelled up again .. that and the jet lag is wearing me down . 13th May .. an unpleasant meeting at work.

Diary .. weeks 233 - 236 (21-05-09 to 17-06-09)
It's time to change format .. less mundane detail ..
DOH .. spotted the difference yet .. << sighs >> .. LOL.
26th May .. my PEP at work .. will be hell probably .. but could have been worse .. why .. ??. 

Diary .. weeks 237 - 240 (18-06-09 to 15-07-09)
Things are getting unpleasant at work .. I'm sure the pressure is to drive me out .. probably .. maybe I'm paranoid, but I am over worked !!.
Still not got to grips with this new format .. LOL .. but the lack of just notes some days shows how hard work is making my life.
7th July .. my doctor says I'm stressed and depressed .. she's put me back on Prozac .. she's going to monitor me more closely now.

Diary .. weeks 241 - 244 (16-07-09 to 12-08-09)
26th July pictures of our new car, pre delivery .. check that colour out in the close up .. very feminine .. in a violet way ..
28th July .. I saw another GP .. he's doubled my dose of Prozac as it's not achieved the desired effect .. 31st July .. maybe the prozac is now working .. the easiest dilation for about 8 weeks .. my spirits are lifted.

Diary .. weeks 245 - 248 (13-08-09 to 09-09-09)
The doubled dose of Prozac is working for me, helped no doubt by my  company realizing I was cracking under the strain. Dilation's are easier and I'm sleeping a lot better, hopefully the unwinding viscous circle will help me settle and get back off the Prozac soon. Me in my bikini on Bob's boat!!

Diary .. weeks 249 - 252 (10-09-09 to 07-10-09)
Things are pretty unpleasant at work .. I'm getting seriously stressed.
21.09.09 .. my GP insists on signing me off work for a week for "work related stress" ( he wanted two weeks ) before he'll help me with things to make me sleep.
23.09.09 .. I'm rushed to hospital from home in agony with my chest .. 

Diary .. weeks 253 - 256 (08-10-09 to 05-11-09)
27.10.09 .. Karen's 50th birthday .. my son Robert and step son Jamie stitch me up on this day .. I'm banned from the days celebrations by them so they can invite transphobic sister in law Tracy and her taught to be transphobic kids for most of day .. nice, thanks .. but I'm invited to foot bill for £60 a head restaurant for three hours attendance in evening .. Karen and her Dad didn't think that fair either in any respect.

Diary .. weeks 257 - 260 (06-11-09 to 02-12-09)
I'm removed as co-owner of SRSinThailand and a moderator from  Post op girls club after the other owner Tina Marie Phillips ( aka Miss Vanity ) gets the arse with me for watching her back .. I get the knife instead .. you know who your friends are .. I do, even if she doesn't. So I've started my own group (s ) .. is one of them ..

Diary .. weeks 261 - 264 (03-12-09 to 30-12-09)

09.12.09 .. 5 years on HRT today !!!

Diary .. weeks 265 - 268 (31-12-09 to 27-01-10)
00.00 hrs 01/01/10 Tina Marie Phillips kills off SRSinThailand.
09.15 hrs 01/01/10 Karen gives me some devastating news .. it ends here I think.
19/01/10 .. A few people have emailed me in the last week asking me to continue or at least make a statement about things. To be honest I've lost heart in this now, I've been keeping a few basic notes some days but not a lot. More worrying news on the 11th  hasn't helped either. So I've uploaded what I have ..

Diary .. weeks 269 - 272 (28-01-10 to 24-02-10)

13/02/10 .. The news from today's meeting seems to confirm everything Karen told me new years morning .. I feel so low, everything I've worked for, for US, over the last 27+ years is lost .. well 50% of it and all my future hopes .. that's it.
20/02/10 .. Things seem less black .. there is hope for "us" yet I feel as we try to plan some positive changes we both want .. the reality, for what ever reason .. is .. we do need each other.

Diary .. weeks 273 - 276 (25-02-10 to 24-03-10)

Work continues to be hell, home life a little less so .. I really need a break.
28/02/10 .. a couple of days on Bob's new boat .. in a car park.
02/03/10 .. I go and stay with Christine in Whitby, gosh this is what I needed .. except for the calls from work .. holiday .. what holiday thanks to work, but Christine & co are lovely people.

Diary .. weeks 277 - 280 (25-03-10 to 21-04-10)

26/03/10 .. Bob's "new" boat gets launched .. and I do the "maiden voyage" from Port Solent to Gosport Marina, it's home.
27/03/10 .. A nice meal out for Karen and I with friends.
09/04/10 .. a trip to St Vaast with Karen for a break for 3 nights.

Diary .. weeks 281 - 284 (22-04-10 to 19-05-10)

23/04/10 .. In to hospital for an Angiogram following my two failed treadmill exercise tests .. it doesn't go straight forward but maybe a step closer to what I'm truly allergic to .. iodine.
02/05/10 .. A lovely break in Whitby with a very good friend ..
06/05/10 .. In to hospital for Gynaecology and Urology investigations .. I'm left to stew over some of the results .. now I'm bleeding more!!.

Diary .. weeks 285 - 288 (20-05-10 to 16-06-10)

25 - 27 /05/10 .. I should have seen this coming .. well actually I did .. for a long time I've known my MD has had it in for me, with his health affecting stress and pressure .. but I'm not going to take this laying down .. I'm losing the plot here with this .. I've got to simplify this.
As a result the last few weeks here are a bit patchy !!!

Diary .. weeks 289 - 292 (17-06-10 to 14-07-10)

October 16 2010 ..
Ok I'm working on de personalising of the manouvering that happen at "the old place" prior to my redundancy leading to me being ushered out early with the benefits from the redundancy .. this will be the next page to arrive .. and it's not been seen before .. it shows the bad side of  UK business in dealing with "truth" and side issues when a transperson is involved ..

A new start to my life from 24/07/10 .. what no work related stress, no on call 24/7/365* !!!

A new job, renewed loving relationship with Karen .. less hassle, life should be good and enjoyable now, hope my health recovers !!

* On 11th June 2010 a scheme was introduced that gave me 3 out of 5 weekends "off" .. too little, to late !!!

Diary .. weeks 293 - 296 (15-07-10 to 11-08-10)

23/07/10 .. My last day at work with my old company .. I didn't leave till 19.00 but what's new .. very little of that in the future for sure !!! I'm being allowed to leave their employment early. You know I was in tears at time to time that day .. but the following week the sadness slowly lifted, looking towards the new job and a bought forward start date .. << Cheshire cat with a gallon of cream GRIN >>.

Diary .. weeks 297 - 300 (12-08-10 to 08-09-10)

06/09/10 .. The start date of my new job .. this seems to be the current dream organisation to work for, just as ITN was when they employed me in 1982. I'm taking a slight hit on salary for 6 months but then I'll be back to the same .. not with 15 years of service behind it either .. the other news is that Karen is in love with me again .. I feel I've won the lottery .. time to look for my yacht too !!!! A 2nd honeymoon in Devon.
06/09/10 .. My first day in my new job .. gosh this is a caring organisation for sure !!

Diary .. weeks 301 - 304 (09-09-10 to 06-10-10)

Well the new job is working out to be fabulous .. I'd go as far to say this is the ultimate employer in radio at the moment. The slight cut in pay is sooo worth it .. I'm being set up for training courses here and there and I'm asked to go on my first major overseas trip to do some work near Medicine Hat, Alberta, Canada .. I flew out 26th September and left Canada on the 6th October .. gave me a chance to visit Jamie & Vic in Canmore too over the weekend.

Diary .. weeks 305 - 308 (07-10-10 to 03-11-10)

Karen and I went to two friends Civil Partnership Ceremony .. it was a lovely afternoon and evening ..  but  I seriously damaged my left foot the following morning ..
Well I had a real shock this month .. "Bob the boat" was found dead on board the boat .. it was a heart attack .. his funeral, held in my village where his family had owned 3 houses and lived here for 40 years, was very moving  .. the church was almost full  .. about 175 people.
I now need to find my own boat to stay where I love .. on the sea.

Diary .. weeks 309 - 312 (04-11-10 to 25-11-10)

After 4 visits to hospital, still in agony with my left foot .. and I'm seriously dangerous on crutches .. to myself and anyone in landing distance << grimace >> .. but my new company management have bent over backwards to make my life as easy and comfortable as possible .. can't think that my old company would have done the same somehow in those later months.
12/11/10 .. .. is one year old today .. 148 members

Diary .. weeks 313 - 316 (02-12-10 to 29-12-10)

06/12/10 .. Back to work without my "air boot" ( or human wheel clamp as I call it ) .. it's a relief but things are very strange .. the foot is sore still, I need to wear shoes with plenty of "toe cleavage" to avoid pressure on top of my foot, my left ankle and knee are quite "stiff".
09/12/10 .. 6 years on HRT .. sometimes time seems to be running double time !!!
The Christmas season is here .. lots of socialising seems to be having a serious bad effect on my weight .. I've got to learn self restraint when it comes to food .. << sighs >> .. Christmas weekend is good +1lb!!.

Diary .. weeks 317 - 320 (30-12-10 to 26-01-11)

I'd would like to wish all my friends and acquaintances, cyber and in real life a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year. For those of you starting new chapters and beginnings to your lives in 2011 I hope the year brings everything you hope for and that you reach 2012 happy and contented ..
love and best .. Sarah xx
Sarah's got a new toy !!! Spot the pictures .. !! Another new toy, a TomTom 950 live, has gone missing from the "Home Delivery Networks" depot in Wembley .. "LOST" .. yeah! .. that's the in  word for "STOLEN."

Diary .. weeks 321 - 324 (27-01-11 to 23-02-11)

I've found out I have got my MOD clearance now .. that's a relief.
Sarah's got yet another new toy !!! I've bought myself and Karen our first brand new laptop. After years of using old laptops from work that were being replaced due to being out of date .. I've bit the bullet and bought a Toshiba A660 - 1DZ. It's got a 16" led backlit screen and a Blue Ray burner built in.
A serious run in with Barclaycard security department .. this might involve going to court for damages.
Two weeks of training and hotel eating play havoc with my waist ( waste ) line .. sob, sob.
16/02/11 .. I'm told I'm off to Brunei for work last week in March for about 12 days !! ..

Diary .. weeks 325 - 328 (24-02-11 to 23-03-11)

Looks like the Bob memorial trip to St Vaast for the weekend of 15 - 17 April is on .. will be sad but nice. 
03/03/11 .. I'm handed a letter at work .. my probation is over .. I'm staff .. YIPPEE !!!
22/03/11 .. In Brunei to work .. gosh it's hot !!!

Diary .. weeks 329 - 332 (24-03-11 to 20-04-11)

01/04/11 .. I'm back in the UK .. but can't rest .. Claire's in hospital with DVT's in both legs and it's suspected in her lungs .. so it's a quick freshen up, and off to Mansfield to the worst NHS Hospital if you have "special needs" .. Claire's treatment has been terrible ..
A letter from a solicitor dealing with the late  Bob's esate brings wonderful news .. Bob left me £2000 in his will .. wow !! .. that goes into my boat fund when it arrives.
Claire's issues are a constant worry to us

Diary .. weeks 333 - 336 (21-04-11 to 18-05-11)

Claire's issues are still a constant worry to us, there seems to be little improvement in her mind . . which is holding her back. At Easter I take an extra days leave to try and sort a few things ..  like the garage and the house. We splash out on a new "deluxe" gas barbecue made by Broil King .. a Crown 70 Stainless .. simple beginnings with sausages .. lovely !!
A fab break in Whitby to help Christine in Whitby ..

Diary .. weeks 337 - 340 (19-05-11 to 15-06-11)

A fab trip to see Nanda in the Netherlands ..
Two nightmare weekends with Claire at home ..
Three great "OB's" with work .. the new job of 7 months is just fabulous ..

Diary .. weeks 341 - 344 (16-06-11 to 13-07-11)

A young lad on a scooter type Moped runs into "Red" after loosing control in the wet .. luckily he admits
liability .. just got to get it repaired now without his insurance company deaming the car a write off !!
Another nightmare weekend with Claire at home ..
  OB at Aldershot is brilliant .. I love this job !!
My first UTI .. ouch !! .. I blame the terrible toilets at the Aldershot Garrison OB !!

Diary .. weeks 345 - 348 (14-07-11 to 10-08-11)

Claire weekends are a nightmare still !!!
A wet and slightly miserable OB at RAF Fairford .. RIAT 2011.

Diary .. weeks 349 - 352 (11-08-11 to 07-09-11)

  17th August .. we fly off to Canada for 2 weeks holiday staying with Jamie & Vic.
A Fabulous holiday .. marred by a car break down and Air Canada losing my hold suitcase for 3 weeks ..
the case did turn up wrecked by idiot "security" people in Calgary .. to stupid to just be thick !!!

Diary .. weeks 353 - 356 (08-09-11 to 05-10-11)

What turned out to be a nice OB at RAF Leuchars and a visit to Whitby on the way home.

Diary .. weeks 357 - 360 (06-10-11 to 02-11-11)

Is off to Brunei again 07/11/11 for 12 days .. trying to organise a return to Dr Suporn on the way back for a check up and possible tweak .. I've got a minor problem I'd like sorted by the expert.
29/09/11 .. waiting for a reply from the Suporn Clinic !!!

Diary .. weeks 361 - 364 (03-11-11 to 30-11-11)

 Brunei again 06/11 to 16/11 for work then flew to Chonburi, Thailand for a little revision with Dr Suporn, hope to leave on 28th .. really weard being "recognised" by "strangers" .. but they're not strange.

Diary .. weeks 365 - 368 (01-12-11 to 28-12-11)

Left Thailand, but had to fly back to Brunei for more work ..

Diary .. weeks 369 - 372 (29-12-11 to 25-01-12)

04/01/12 .. 6 hours of tests prove nothing in hospital .. other than my O2 level drops if I exert myself
16/01/12 .. 4th anniversary of Dr Suporn working his magic on me .. :-)

Diary .. weeks 373 - 376 (26-01-12 to 22-02-12)

Struggling with my health following 4th Jan .. improving slowly but follow on scans and tests are proving very little ..
22/02/12 .. Following an accident with a BMW who initially initially refuses to stop .. he turns on me from his car and verbally abuses me .. he's probably got away with drunk / drug driving .. but the police do eventually get involved.

Diary .. weeks 377 - 380 (23-02-12 to 21-03-12)

Follow ons with Surrey Police CID following the accident on 22nd Feb .. the BMW driver surrenders himself, and accepts a fixed penalty fine for the verbal abuse. However Surrey Police Traffic division turn out to be a complete waste of space who let him off everything !! Stunned.
Received an invite from Surrey Police Head of Diversity to join their IAG as the trans rep ..
Finally get an answer to my left shoulder problems .. maybe .. surgery in June to remove some bone.

Diary .. weeks 381 - 384 (22-03-12 to 18-04-12)

I'm told I'm off to Brunei in June .. but it might be sooner due to a problem 16th April .. time will tell ..

Diary .. weeks 385 - 388 (19-04-12 to 16-05-12)

A reunion with some colleagues from my ITN Engineering days .. spot the picture !!
An interview with Surrey Polices Independent Advisory Group chairman is interesting ..

We have to call the police in after my mother leaves an answerphone message to say she's commiting suicide.

Diary .. weeks 389 - 392 (17-05-12 to 13-06-12)

My first meeting as the Trans representative on the Surrey Police IAG!!
Life's a pain .. I crack my head on a beam in a pub and the after effect lasts for a week !!
I do my back in too .. and I have my pre op check for my shoulder operation next month

Diary .. weeks 393 - 396 (14-06-12 to 11-07-12)

Packing for my trip to Brunei .. means buying new underwear and a day in life lost ..  
18th - 29th June .. back in Brunei .. 4th trip .. spot the picture.

Friday 6th July .. in Frimley Park Hospital for an operation on my left shoulder .. not fun.

Diary .. weeks 397 - 400 (12-07-12 to 08-08-12)

18th July .. deverstating news .. Claire's care home is trying to reclassify itself, money is behind it,
so now we are going to have to find another home .. 

Diary .. weeks 401 - 404 (09-08-12 to 05-09-12)

Diary .. weeks 405 - 408 (06-09-12 to 03-10-12)

Diary .. weeks 409 - 412 (04-10-12 to 31-10-12)

Diary .. weeks 413 - 416 (01-11-12 to 28-11-12)

Diary .. weeks 417 - 420 (29-11-12 to 26-12-12)

Diary .. weeks 421 - 424 (27-12-12 to 23-01-13)

  12th January .. my mum died this evening, 10 minutes before we could get back to the hospital .. RIP. 

Diary .. weeks 425 - 428 (24-01-13 to 20-02-13)

Diary .. weeks 429 - 432 (21-02-13 to 20-03-13)

Diary .. weeks 433 - 436 (21-03-13 to 17-04-13)